If there is one thing we have all learnt this year is that we cannot control everything. Sure, we normally get to control a lot more than we can this year, but the principle remains.
You may be familiar with the principle of ‘control only what you can control’. This is what is known as the Circle of Control. I can’t explain it better than Mr Money Mustache did with this simple yet super clear chart:
In green is your Circle of Control – what you can directly control. If you don’t like something in this circle, you can change it. Simple.
In pink is your Circle of Concern – things that concern you and directly or indirectly impact you, but you cannot change them.
People with high self-esteem tend to focus on the green part, their circle of control. In other words they control and direct what these things are.
On the other hand people who tend to focus mostly or solely on their circle of concern are those with low self-esteem and prone to anxiety and mental health issues.
Where am I going with this?
In my opinion there is one big pink box missing in the above chart – how a nation as a whole votes. Yes, you are in control of what you personally vote, but you are not in control of what every single person in your country votes. Even less so if you are not a citizen of that country.
Yes, I want that incompetent and disrespectful clown out of the way. I want it badly. But I am very aware that this is completely out of my control.
Four years ago some good friends came to visit us in London from the US. We didn’t talk politics other than acknowledging the fact that the US presidential election was being held while they stayed with us. When they got up in the morning and watched the news headlines, she cried. And then she had to explain to her toddler that she was not crying because of something he did, he had done nothing wrong. Both our friends were bitterly disappointed.
They had forgotten that if there are two candidates in an election, mathematically each of them has a 50/50 chance of winning. They had not prepared mentally for the candidate not of their choice to win.
This weekend I will spend some time thinking what the next few months and years could be – globally – if either of the two candidates wins next week. I will take this time so that, whoever wins or loses, I will not be taken by surprise.
I am taking time to manage my own expectations.
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